Can Men Communicate?

The short answer to this question is yes. However, many women often ask this question of therapists. The accompanying facial expression usually says women expect quite the opposite answer. Men often assume being social equates with communication. The gap between genders about this subject seems wide.

Women are taught and allowed from an early age to express all sorts of emotions, thoughts and ideas. Men are taught something quite different. Boys are told by older guys: "Never let 'em see ya' sweat, big boys don't cry, man up and don't be a sissy." Exposure of the "Inner self" brings a snicker and a funny look. Boys are subtly discouraged to attempt sensitive expression. Being vulnerable is thought to make a male member of the species appear weak.

Solid inner strength and confidence is required to touch and reveal the sensitive side of expression. Once accomplished, a man will appear and feel extremely strong. In an earlier article, I suggested use of the "Straight talk" approach to communication. Learn to say, "I feel____ when you_____ because_____and I want_____." This is a way to create connection in communication.

Women ALWAYS want connection. Men think connection is a foreign language. Give "Straight talk" a try. Fumbling and stumbling does not matter. Women are always glad to help and encourage a man to overcome the stiff messages of an earlier time.

"Til next time,

Fred